Malik Usama Shafiq
We all know what a bank account is. We deposit money in a bank account and let it accumulate there so that the money can be withdrawn when needed. “Emotional bank account” is a metaphor that tells us how much trust has been accumulated in a relationship.
If I keep submitting my heart and promises, I will accumulate a lot of trust in me Even if my communication is not very clear with you, you will understand my meaning. You will not punish me for unclear words, If I have a high level of trust with you, then between us, Communication will be easy, quick and effective.
But on the other hand, if my habit is bad behavior, I don’t respect you, scold you unnecessarily, show anger unnecessarily, ignore you, hurt your trust, If I intimidate and become a merciless god in your life, then I’ll be running on debt in my “emotional bank account”.
The confidence level will drop drastically and what room will I have? Nothing. I’ll be walking on landmines. I’ll have to be careful about everything I do. I’ll have to keep my back It has to be done. Many institutions are full of such things. These things are going on in many families and all this is happening in many marriages.
If a certain level of trust is not deposited in one’s account, then the institution, the house is destroyed. The matter becomes so complicated that both parties are putting up with each other. A situation in which both people live according to their own style and respect each other nominally. The relationship can go from bad to worse and lead to fights. In such cases, bad language is used, doors are slammed, communication is stopped, emotional detachment is created.
All this then turns into a cold war at home and the relationship continues simply because of children, because of physical need, because of social pressure or because of maintaining one’s reputation or all of these. It takes the form of an open war which is fought in the courts. Injured egos keep fighting each other for years.
There is a lighthouse on the shore of the sea, we can either crash into it and break it ourselves or use its light as a guide.
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Imagine you have a 15-16-year-old son, and your conversations with him often go something like this: “Clean your room, button up your shirt, turn down the TV, get a haircut, take out the trash.” Come on.” This kind of conversation goes on and on and as a result more money is withdrawn from the account than is deposited.
Now imagine your son is going to make some decisions that will have a profound effect on him for the rest of his life, but the level of trust between you father and son has dropped so much and communication has become so closed, so mechanical. And has become so dissatisfied that he is not ready to listen to your advice.
You may have the insight and knowledge to give very useful advice, but because the account has been so taken out that your advice is wrong to get immediate results without being swayed by emotion. He will make a decision and it is possible that the result of his decision will turn out to be very negative.
You must have “something” in your account to discuss these sensitive matters.
